


supalonely

by orphan_account



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Memories, High School, Lee Jeno & Park Jisung Are Siblings, M/M, Sad Na Jaemin, Secret Crush, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:35:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24242146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: What's it like being constantly ignored by your best friend's older brother who you've had a crush on for years?Well, for Na Jaemin, it's exhausting; The constant new outfits and hair colors, the excuses to go to his best friend's house, and the constant invitations to hang out gone ignored, because what's more pathetic than pining for someone who only sees you as their little brother's best friend?Nothing. The answer is nothing.Or, Jaemin just wants Jeno to love him.
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 130





	supalonely

What's it like being constantly ignored by your best friend's older brother who you've had a crush on for years?

Well, for Na Jaemin, it's exhausting; The constant new outfits and hair colors, the excuses to go to his best friend's house, and the constant invitations to hang out gone ignored, because what's more pathetic than pining for someone who only sees you as their little brother's best friend?

Nothing. The answer is nothing.

_Look at me, Lee Jeno. See me in all of my patheticness and realize that all you've ever needed was me. Let people talk, and we won't care because all that matters at the end of the day is us. _And the truth is, that Jaemin loves it. He loves the attention. He loves being called a loser, being given dirty looks from Jeno's girlfriends, being the talk of the school when one day he showed up looking like he could steal your man.__

He's risen to semi-popularity; the guy that knows everyone but not the guy everyone knows. Jaemin is just observant like that. He thinks it sets him apart from the other kids who don't pay attention, who don't strive to please people. He remembers when Jeno asked for his name. _God, I've been friends with your little brother since elementary and you still don't know my name?_

"Jaemin," he said. "My name's Jaemin."

But he's worked so hard to get to this point. He's tried to learn new things, advance his study skills to try and get into higher classes and force interactions with Jeno, who was a grade level above him.

_Why won't you talk to me, Jeno? Why won't you love me? Why won't you see past the fact that I'm more than just your little brother's best friend? _He wanted to scream.__

He loved everything about Jeno. The little mole under his eye, the way his eyes resembled crescent moons when he smiled. Always the littlest things that no one else would notice.

"Jaemin? Earth to Jaemin?" Jisung said, waving his hand in front of Jaemin's eyes.

Ah, Jisung. Said best friend of Jaemin, and younger brother of Jeno. He was tall and lanky, with a baby face. His voice was surprisingly deep, and it didn't match his appearance at all. Jaemin could go on and on.

"Yeah, I'm still here." He said back, even though his mind was still somewhere else. He ran his fingers through his hair, which he recently dyed a shade of electric blue. It created a bit of buzz on social media and got him many compliments, yet not enough for him to be liked by all. Summer vacation was ending in a few days and he hoped that this year would be good, at least better than the last.

Jisung finally graduated middle school and would be a freshman next year, joining Jaemin who had been pretty lonely for the past year other than befriending Renjun who moved from China before leaving after 3 months.

Jaemin had laid awake at night, thinking of all the possibilities of what could happen this coming school year. Would he finally get a boyfriend? Would that boyfriend be Jeno? Would he carpool with Jisung again? He noticed a new car in his best friend's driveaway a few months back. He assumed it was Jeno's, who had turned 17 and got his own car.

"..anyways, later he was like 'Wow Jisung, you're so hot!' and then--- Are you even listening?"

"Oh! Yeah, I'm sorry Ji, I've just felt off today." Jaemin stammered, staring at the strawberry milk tea boba that he had ordered about 30 minutes before in front of him. He didn't even like strawberry, or milk. He was about to get up and throw the still sealed cup into the trash, but Jisung stopped him.

"What are you doing? At least give it to me before wasting it. Jeno loves strawberry." Jisung frowned, grabbing the drink from Jaemin.

"I didn't know that." Jaemin said, not meaning to say it out loud. He thought he already knew everything about Jeno. They say opposites attract, right?

"Why would you?"

"Nothing." Jaemin muttered.

Jisung laughed dryly. "We should get back now."

Jaemin nodded, wiping the condensation from the cup onto his pants. It was deathly hot outside, and Jaemin was practically begging for cool fall weather. More importantly, his birthday was right around the corner. August 13th, which he called national Jaemin day. He and Jisung were celebrating together today, and it wasn't like they had any other friends.

It was funny how Jaemin was so popular, yet still a loser. He had a good amount of Instagram followers, but about 1 1/2 friends (he still kept in touch with Renjun once in a while).

The past school year was a blur. He would eat in the library, watching movies on the projector like losers do. Occasionally, he would drop by the cafeteria to get a drink (read: look for Jeno). Jeno was like royalty. He was athletic, good-looking and wasn't that smart, but who cares about personality and intelligence anyways?

Jaemin was neither athletic nor high-school royalty. Others would describe him as good looking, but he knows himself. He knows that behind the contacts, lingual braces, hair dye, and makeup, he's a fake. Just a loser.

When he gets home and strips himself of his makeup, fancy clothes, and false persona, Jaemin is himself once again. Just someone who wants to be loved by someone who won't love him back.

Jeno didn't love him for his exterior, and Jeno didn't love him for his interior. Jeno simply never paid a cent of attention to him anymore. Jaemin chuckled bitterly to himself.

"You good, Nana? You've been quiet for a while now." Jisung said as they reached the parking lot, looking around for their ride home.

Oh, Jisung. Someone that cares. The blue-haired boy clears his throat, opening his mouth but nothing comes out. He shuts his eyes in an attempt to keep the tears in. After a moment, he just nods, and Jisung understands and doesn't question him further.

This happens often, him having a self-induced panic attack by rethinking every little moment in his life. Jisung grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze. The younger didn't dare to say "What's wrong?" or "Are you okay?" because he knows that it'll just make everything worse.

From the moment the shiny black car that he saw sitting in the Lee's driveway pulled up to the curbside, Jaemin knew he was fucked.

"Get in, Ji. Hi-" Jeno paused, rethinking what he was about to say after seeing Jaemin's tear-streaked face. "You okay, Jaemin?" Jeno asked, and Jisung scowled. "He's absolutely fine, Jeno. It's none of your business."

They're quiet on the way back home from the shopping center, and to make it even worse Jisung is sitting in the front seat, conversing with Jeno while Jaemin just sits in the back. Alone, again.

"Nana, what's your address?" The childhood nickname brings Jaemin to his breaking point. Before Jisung can stop Jeno, Jaemin's already trying to speak. "Twe-" He wants to say, but he hiccups and the tears come back and his breathing quickens. He feels a pain in his chest, and his throat constricts.

_No, no, no. This couldn't be happening, not in front of Jeno of all people._

___"My mom said I shouldn't be friends with crybabies."___ Jaemin recalls ever-so-popular Donghyuck saying to him when they were children, when Jaemin would get hurt by the words of silly 9 year olds and cry and sob until everyone was scared away. He's never really let go of that incident to this day, but of course Donghyuck would forget. Jaemin always remembers, Jaemin always pays attention when no one else does.

Jaemin just wanted to be liked. _See, Jeno? I remembered that you like cats better than dogs. I paid attention to you when Jisung didn't. I made sure you knew I cared. But did you? I stayed behind and helped you clean up when Jisung and Donghyuck went to go play somewhere else. I was your friend once. Why'd we have to drift apart?_

They were just kids, kids who would all go their separate ways as pre-adolescence took over. Kids who didn't exactly know how they became friends but that wasn't what they cared about. All they cared about was their toys and their own feelings.

Why did we have to grow up? Why does time always have to take things away from us? Why can't we just be the four best friends who played in the rain together forever?

He can't tell where he is right now. His vision is clouded from tears and all he hears is the sound of his heart pounding against his chest. It's hot and he wants to wipe the sweat off his face but he can't move.

Strong arms lift him up like he's a feather and he's taken back to that fateful day. The four boys played in the mud, and took shelter from the rain in their creaky treehouse that smelled of soggy wood. Jaemin breathes in the scent of cinnamon and apples and he knows exactly who's taking him to his bedroom. _Jeno._

He feels a soft blanket being draped over him, and suddenly someone's stroking his hair. For once, he feels loved and safe and the world melts away. Jaemin drifts away to sleep, the touches lulling him in easily. He doesn't think, nor let his mind wander. He focuses on the moment, which he isn't even sure if it's real or not.

When he wakes up the next morning, he first notices that he was wearing the same thing from yesterday. His throat is dry, but there's already a glass of water and a note waiting for him on his bedside table. 

_"Feel better soon, and happy birthday, Nana. - Jeno"_ It reads.

A smile creeps onto his face, and all his worries go away for just a minute.

Maybe Jaemin should cry more often.


End file.
